Understanding and Overcoming: Imposter Syndrome & Self-Doubt

Why smart and successful people feel like frauds (and you might too) and 7 tips how to overcome feelings of insecurity.

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A constant, nagging sense of self-doubt, insecurity and the fear that others think we’re not good enough to be doing what we’re doing - does that sound familiar?

In this blog article, I will explain to you

how to get comfortable being uncomfortable;
how to differentiate between everyday fear and the negative thought patterns that hold us back, and
how to create a new mindset that allows us to celebrate our achievements.

You might not know the term “Imposter Syndrome”, but you might know the following reactions (thought or said out loud):

When being praised:

I just had luck.
I had a great team.
The audience/manager/client just liked me.
...

When making a mistake:

I knew it, I don’t belong here.
I was never capable of this.
I am a failure.
...

When facing a new (and challenging situation or task):

I should already know all this.
I have to do it by myself.
I cannot ask for help.
...

Many people are familiar with feelings of fear or self-doubt, especially in new and challenging situations, e.g. after being hired or after receiving a big project.

However, there is a difference between only occasionally feeling like this or having it persistently and regularly limiting your ability to perform.

In the second case, one speaks of the Imposter Syndrome - the core belief that we are not as bright or competent or talented as people think we are. That we have somehow managed to fool college admissions officers, hiring managers, clients, patients, the public or whoever - basically anyone who believed in us.

First coined in a psychological study by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, it was described being found with successful professional women who were not convinced of their own intelligence and abilities and believed that their achievements were overestimated by others.

It may seem counter-intuitive at first, but in fact it can be observed that the more educated you are, the greater the chance of succumbing to Imposter Syndrome. In fact, so-called high-achievers most often suffer from it. Although they usually have undeniable proof of personal success and capabilities and a whole list of accomplishments to show.

The following thought pattern is typical: success is due to external factors such as luck, failure is blamed on personal inadequacy and individual mistakes are seen as proof for failing as a person.

By the way, lack of representation reinforces the feeling of "I don't belong here" and "just wait until they see that I am less capable". In the masculine cultures that usually predominate in today's world, it is therefore reasonable to assume that women from ethnic minorities are more often affected.

(I will discuss the Imposter Syndrome and the connection with diversity and inclusion in a separate blog post).

**What does not help to overcome Imposter Syndrome**

While encouragement from others is nice, the key to overcome self-doubts and insecurity in the longterm is changing your self-perception.

You might have people around you saying things like "You are doing a great job" and "You are so good at what you do" or "You are worrying about nothing", "Just look at what you've already achieved".

It is well-meant, but often does not help. Imposters will not believe this. Because if you don’t believe it yourself, it is often not easy to believe others.

By the way, the same is true right now: Your self-doubt will not go away after reading this blog article (most likely). Because it's not about reading a text or listening to a lecture, getting explained how to overcome the Imposter Syndrome and then suddenly not feeling like an imposter any more.

It is probably something you have been practicing for a long time and it is deeply rooted in your habits and behaviour. Therefore, give yourself some time and practice to overwrite this with a new default behaviour and establish new habits.

The exchange with like-minded people who also know great self-doubt can definitely do you good. It strengthens the feeling of not being alone, it empowers you to see that respected role models have it as well.

But just sharing that you feel the same doesn't change much - it has to be about what to do about it as well. Therefore, try to focus these conversations on finding out how others deal with it and what has helped them.

Here are seven actionable tips to reduce the feelings of insecurities and overcome self-doubt:

7 TIPS on how TO OVERCOME THE imPOSTER SYNDROME:

Tip number 1: Normalize and relativize your experience.

Often it helps to know that there is such a thing, just being able to give it a name. This makes it less vague, but more tangible. If there is a word for it, you can talk about it, find help, read books.

Ever felt good after hearing: "Well, this (how you feel, what you think) is normal"? You are not the weird outsider or the only person on this planet who feels like this.

In her book "Lean In"* Sheryl Sandberg describes her personal experience with Imposter Syndrome and countless people felt better just by her sharing it with the world.

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Tip number 2: Realise that relearning is possible.

People who do not suffer from Imposter Syndrome do not know more and are not better than you. The difference is that during the same situation that triggers an imposter feeling in us, they think different thoughts. They are not more intelligent or capable - they could be more adept.

Initially, it used to be thought that the impostor phenomenon is a personality trait that is unchangeable. In the meantime, scientific opinion has changed.

This is good news! It means that we "only" have to learn to think like them and not despair of being "like that" and never being able to change. We don’t have to identify with it.

Tip number 3: No more negative self-talk.

Stop negative self-talk and the internalization of failures by all means. Whenever you catch yourself down-talking to yourself ("I can't do this, I'm so stupid, what am I doing here?"), stop it immediately. Just because you made a mistake and feel bad doesn't mean you are incompetent.

Recognise that you can be wrong and that you will make mistakes. Just as the next person. Probably you are much more relaxed and forgiving with people around you than with yourself? Then try to talk to yourself like to a good friend and practice self-compassion.

Tip number 4: Check your inner beliefs.

Examine your inner beliefs. You might be convinced of the following: "I am not allowed to make mistakes", "I cannot ask for help", "I should always know the answer".

How do you unmask such thoughts? They are often very absolutely phrased and contain adverbs such as "always" or "never". Often they are also proverbs or idioms ("no pain, no gain"). They trigger feelings of pressure or fear and do not have an encouraging effect.

If any of these beliefs come to your mind, it is best to write them down and try to rephrase them or get rid of them altogether. During this process, we often become aware of the very high standards we set for ourselves, but which we cannot (or don’t have to!) fulfil in most cases.

Tip number 5: Recognize your successes.

Take credit for your success. Don't just base it on luck, coincidence, team members, your mentor or other external factors.

Do not relativize your successes when you are praised and be thankful for positive feedback without devaluing your own performance.

Tip number 6: Talk about your achievements.

Become aware of your successes and focus on the positive. We are trained (and for women this is even more often the case) to be modest, not to talk about our achievements or even think about them - it might seem arrogant or egocentric - and to focus more on our mistakes and shortcomings.

I am by no means a fan of boasting, but being proud of what you have done and who you are is healthy. And necessary.

If this is difficult for you, try to imagine that you are talking about your best friend or an admired colleague when you are actually talking about yourself. It is often easier for us to praise others than to acknowledge our own achievements.

Tip number 7: See the benefit in failure.

Try to see failure as something positive. I know that we (especially in Germany) have a culture that doesn't forgive failures as easily and mistakes are by no means seen as something good, as is often the case in the USA.

Instead of dramatizing mistakes or seeing them as proof of incompetence, take them as an opportunity to learn. It is like experimenting: only by trial and error, failure and learning can one become better. My favourite example from history is Thomas Edison, who tested thousands of light bulbs until he developed the one that worked. His attitude was "I didn't fail. I have only found 10,000 ways that don't work".

Bonus tip with instant effect

For use before presentations or job interviews.

Let's assume you have already worked on your thought patterns and inner attitude and followed the advice listed above as far as possible.

Let’s assume you are now actually facing a new and challenging situation and feel a certain fear coming up.

Whenever this happens, follow these quick tips to feel better immediately (I use them myself and promise you: it works!).

Depending on how much time you have before, try the following:

The day before or up to 30 minutes before: Imagine that you will be successful in this presentation, this interview, this meeting. Imagine that everything goes optimally and how good you feel. Our brain can't tell the difference between things that actually happen and things that only happen in our head - use this to make yourself feel - by pure imagination - as if it had already gone well. You will be much more optimistic and relaxed about the situation.

About 15 minutes before: Find a corner where nobody sees you or go to the washroom. Take the superhero pose for at least 30 seconds and notice how much more confident you feel in this position. You tell your brain and body how you want to feel instead of waiting for fear to take over.

Immediately before: If nervousness overcomes you shortly before, tell yourself “I am excited!”. Fear and nervousness are not helpful emotions. Excitement, pride, enthusiasm, exhilaration and curiosity have positive connotations, and actually create similar physiological reactions in our body. As I said, our mind cannot feel the difference, so just take over and decide what you want to feel. By the way, the well-known psychotherapist Fritz Perls described fear as "excitement without breath".

Is there a positive side of imposter syndrome?

Did it ever cross your mind that the Imposter Syndrome also has its good side, because it makes you humble and stops you from overestimating yourself too much?

I used to think so as well and was almost proud to have such a character trait. Didn't it save me from arrogance and vanity? Now, I disagree with the idea of embracing the Imposter Syndrome as something worth striving for.

The chance that you become an arrogant bragger who only talks about himself or herself is actually quite slim if you suffered from the Imposter Syndrome.

In fact, there are not only these two options, but:

You can overcome the Imposter Syndrome and still be humble.
You can be proud of your achievements without coming across as arrogant.

By the way, not having Imposter Syndrome does not mean that you cannot feel fear in a new situation. That should not be the goal either.

Fear is a normal reaction to the unknown (as said, non-imposters have it as well). It is more about developing a healthy response to criticism, failure and fear - and not about being frozen and questioning your own abilities and whole person.

Because in the end you are here to achieve something, inspire others and be successful in what you do.

Again, do not wait until you feel confident enough to start doing whatever you want to do.

New challenges will always create a certain amount of fear or tension. This is normal and does not mean that you are not able to handle the task.

Confidence develops from actions. Therefore: Start before you are ready (or feel ready).

Do you need help in identifying your strengths?
Do you wish to be more self-confident in certain environments or situations?
Do you want to make your achievements and successes more visible?

I help you!

Get in touch and I will come back to you as soon as possible.

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