How to better understand yourself in times of change and uncertainty
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Change is an inevitable part of life, and we cannot run away from it. Managing uncertainty and finding peace among unstable times is a challenge. As we get plenty of opportunities to practice this at the moment, it might be worth checking in with ourselves to see where we stand and how we are doing.
In this blog article, I will help you
to understand different stages in a change process;
to find out where you are currently positioned in the change curve, and
to fathom what kind of support you might need along the way.
We all face changes. Smaller ones every day, occasionally some bigger ones – but recently, it feels like change is awaiting us more often than usual.
Although we deal with change differently, there are some phases we all go through – more or less – and it can be helpful to understand these and to locate yourself along the so-called “change curve”.
This is a model that can come in helpful in times of uncertainty. Just knowing where you stand might put your mind a bit more at ease, because you see where you are at the moment, and also where you probably will get.
The change curve is based on a theory by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist. Her grieve model consists of five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Later, the concept had been found valid also for all kinds of change processes in business, work, and personal lives.
One variation of the change curve is displayed in the chart below, including seven stages of change. The curve is shown over time (x-axis), the y-axis displays the personal level of energy. It could also be motivation, effectiveness or performance (often used in an organisational context, e.g. on transformation).
It is essential to understand that we do not move along the stages in a linear way or step by step. You might also sometimes return back to a previous stage after a certain point in time. Each stage can last for a different time period, and it is possible to get stuck.
These are the different phases that most people experience during a change process:
Stage 1: Shock
The initial response to a change often is shock. You are not able to digest the fact that you have to undergo change and adapt to something new. The mismatch between expectation and reality leads to numbness and immobilization.
Stage 2: Denial, Resistance
In this stage, there is a strong disbelief, that change is necessary. You are looking for evidence that it isn’t true to justify a resistance for change, and actively or passively fight for the status quo. You show only selective listening and responding, some people turn towards cynicism.
Stage 3: Realization
Once the reality of the change starts to hit, you come to see that the situation will not change back to before quickly. You may fear the unknown impact of the change, and the feel the loss of control. Fear can turn into anger, frustration, helplessness, and confusion. Some people also experience euphoria, another strong emotion. You actively resist or protest against the change.
Stage 4: Resignation, Depression
In this stage, you realize the full extent of the situation. This is the point where your energy is lowest. Here, it is basically impossible to pull yourself up for activities. It is called the “vale of tears”, as it is mostly connected with low mood, a lack of energy, profound sadness, and feeling depressed.
Stage 5: Acceptance
From here, the focus shifts away from what is lost towards acceptance and letting go. The worst part is over, there will be fewer bad days, and instead a feeling of hope that things may work out. You feel less emotional, morale and productivity begin to rise, you feel a sense of achievability, and the vision of how to turn the situation to the better becomes more clear. You finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Stage 6: Exploring
In this stage, you start to feel more positive. It is the initial active engagement with the new situation, which is all about exploring what the changes mean. You deal with the new reality by testing new approaches and skills, and experimenting with new activities.
Stage 7: Integration
The final change is about renewal. You have a positive mindset, a high productivity level, and you are excited about opportunities how to rebuild your ways to live to be better than before. New skills, attitudes, and behaviours become the norms of everyday life. You are not only accepting changes, but embracing them.
Now, how can you make use of this knowledge and find ways to cope better with times of uncertainty? Here are some suggestions:
Ask yourself
In which phase am I at the moment?
Hence, what would help me most now?
Recognize that
Every phase has a right to exist.
There is a low point from which the curve (and, more importantly, how you feel) goes up again.
Give yourself time to adjust, especially in the early stages. You don’t have to fall into activism of developing new routines when you might still be in the “vale of tears”.
Practice
Being kind to yourself, especially in the depression phase.
Being generous to yourself when trying out new things. Not everything might be serve you right. That is okay – it is about exploring without putting too much pressure on yourself.
Celebrating what is working for you. Congratulate yourself on doing well, on finding something that helps you.
Think about
To whom you want to reach out when. At some points, it might be nice to have someone listen to you without giving advice. In later stages, as in the exploring or integration phase, someone who suggests new ideas might be welcome.
What decisions can be postponed. Phases with a low energy level are not the best ones to decide on changing your job, moving to a new city, or other major topics. Try to focus on your wellbeing first, instead of increasing the pressure by forcing yourself to make important decisions (if possible).
Finally, I want to share a piece of wisdom that I find very soothing in challenging situations:
I focused more on the personal situation here, but as mentioned, everything is valid on a bigger level as well, such as teams, corporations, or a whole society. Understanding the different stages of change can be effectively used by business or political leaders to help their organization, workforce, or country adapt to change and move towards success.
Self-awareness is the first important step on the path of coping with a challenging and new situation in a sustainable and successful way. I hope that understanding the change curve helped you make that first step and adapt more quickly.
If you need support in a positive, and solution-oriented manner along the way, please reach out.
Do you have questions? Leave them in the comment section below.